Reflections
by Hared
Summary: The war is over, Voldemort is dead for good and Harry Potter's life is more normal than it has ever been but he can't shake the feeling that if his life went differently where he would be so he sets out to make some major life changes and close up some loose ends.
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter rolled over in the bed, nearly falling off the edge. He caught himself, jolting himself fully awake. He groaned and flopped on his back. Rolling in his sleep had been happening to him a lot lately.

The dreams of the battle of hogwarts haunted him. The last image of Voldemort's corpse ran through his mind all the time. There was a part of him that still couldn't believe he was really dead, because he had been living with that fear for 7 years of his life.

He stared up at the ceiling, he had been calling The Burrow home for the summer. He didn't know what the next steps he wanted to take in his life were.

The Weasley's had been greatly accommodating but he felt like he was overstaying his welcome. The sun started to creep into the room from the small window and he knew Mrs. Weasley would be down in the kitchen.

Wanting to escape his own thoughts he got up, stretched and walked down to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley stood at the sink, scrubbing a cast iron pan.

She sighed and caught Harry's eye, breaking out in a huge smile, "Why good morning Harry! Care for some breakfast?"

"No thank you," he muttered, sitting down at the table, "You seem busy."

"Nonsense," she shook her head, whipping out her wand and summoning a package of sausages and eggs. She slammed a pan down on the burner, throwing several of the sausages in.

For some reason his mind immediately went back to the cabin on the rock, all those years ago on his birthday when Hagrid came to save him.

"Have... have you visited your Aunt and Uncle Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked slowly. It had been a couple months since the Dursley's returned to their house on private drive and Harry had not returned there since before they had left there.

"Um….no?" Harry muttered, drawing himself back into the room, "Would they even want to see me?"

Mrs. Weasley placed a plate of eggs and sausage in front of him, "It wouldn't hurt to see dear," she rubbed his shoulder, "they are your only family."

He nodded, stabbing into a sausage and staring at it as it hung on his fork, "Yeah...I guess," he shrugged. He could hear others, upstairs starting to stir. He thought to himself that perhaps, maybe it was time to see the Dursleys.

Hermione came over just after breakfast and agreed that it was in fact time for Harry to see his family again. Harry didn't have the courage to go alone, so she agreed to accompany him.

"How's the search for your parents going?" he asked her as they walked away from The Burrow.

"I'm getting close I think," she said, "I've been busy with this Elf Rights book as well."

"You always have so many things going on," he commented, slightly jealous that she seemed to have her life more in line than himself.

"I know…" she sighed, "I don't see you or Ron enough."

"Let's go," he held out his arm, changing the subject. He concentrated on his destination, and moments later he was standing there in front of the house.

"Are they expecting us?" Hermione asked.

"I didn't even think about that to be honest Harry muttered, "Well here goes anything."

They approached the door and memories started to flood back to Harry. The Hogwarts letters that wouldn't stop coming, Dobby telling him not to go back to school, Aunt Marge flying away and so many more. For a split second he considered walking away but before he knew it there were at the door.

Hermione reached him and pressed the doorbell. They could hear it inside following some shouting and commotion from within. Moments later Petunia cracked open the door, showing one eye.

She opened the door more, showing her whole face. She looked stunned, looking Harry up and down as he stood there.

"Hey Aunt Petunia," Harry broke the silence.

"Ha...Harry," she sounded at stunned as she looked, "I...I didn't expect you," she looked up and down the street and ushered them inside.

The house looked the same as it always had. The only thing that was missing were the photos of Dudley. Instead, to Harry's surprise there were photos of the family including himself. He couldn't stop himself, he walked up to one photo in particular.

He remembered taking it, because the photographer had asked the Dursley's where they wanted Harry to stand even though they didn't want him in the picture at all.

"I...I found that when I was cleaning out some old things," she said hesitantly.

Harry couldn't help but smile, "It's nice," he looked at her and much to his surprise she too was smiling.

She shook her head, "I found some of your things too," she shuffled over to the cupboard under the stairs, they followed her.

Inside was a box, with various things. Some books he left, some old army toys and most interestingly a stack of journals, "thank you aunt Petunia," he muttered.

She hesitated, opening her mouth and closing it, "I want to thank you too Harry, for…" she paused, searching for the words, "for everything," she pulled him into the most surprising hug of his life. It felt so warm, standing there in a place he was not use to that at all.

He patted her back, feeling a little better about his place in the world in that moment. The words in this journal in his hand however opened up something new in his mind. Something he hadn't felt for years and years, something he suppressed.

His unequivocal crush on Ron Weasley.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry's dreams still persisted, waking him almost every morning. Sometimes he woke up sweating, sometimes so cold he couldn't move.

He couldn't believe how successful his trip to see his aunt had been. She told him that Dudley was going to come over for dinner the following weekend and he was more than welcome to join them.

In fact it was so successful he decided it was about time he started to shape his own life into what he wanted and hoped it would help the dreams stop. One particular morning he woke up sweating, the room still dark.

He lay there, gasping. He forced himself up, pulling the lamp chord next to him. Squinting at the bright light, he wiped his forehead. The stack of journals he from the cupboard under stairs were stack on the bedside table.

He had slowly been making his way through them, reliving his time at Hogwarts in the words he wrote. He picked up his glasses, shoved them on his face.

He was reading last night, about a time during this third year.

 _Ron and him had just gotten out of Divination, Trelawney having given them massive amounts of homework on top of their history of magic essay._

" _Reckon we should to the library and get this done?" Ron sighed._

" _Probably," Harry muttered._

 _The headed off toward the library. The found a spot, in a far corner and sat next to each other on the ground._

" _Did you sleep well last night?" Ron asked, Harry frowned at the seemingly random question, "You were tossing and turning," he explained._

" _Oh...yeah," Harry shook his head, "I was….uh dreaming."_

 _His eyes met Ron's eyes, and he noticed how blue they were. They_

" _What were ya dreaming about?" Ron snickered, "sounded pretty intense whatever it was."_

 _Harry hesitated, debating if he should tell his best friend what he was really dreaming about, "I…" he paused again, "can I tell you something Ron?"_

" _Whatcha gotta say Harry," Ron, they met eyes again._

" _I think I like boys more than girls" he blurted, the courage coming from inside him somewhere._

 _Ron looked away. There was an awkward pause that seemed to last years._

" _I wouldn't mind if ya did Harry, but we wizards don't take about that," he finally said, "so I don't know what to say."_

 _There was another awkward pause and Harry felt like extremely sad in that moment. It was like he could have cried, but he swallowed hard and it passed, "well anyway, let's get moving on this homework," he forced out._

He remembered that day all at once. The emotion of the moment flooded back to him as he sat there in the bed. This was a moment he needed to confront, but he was not quite ready for that bag of worms.

The sun had risen in the time was reading. He could smell himself and decided it was a good day for a bath.

He gathered a set of clothes and headed toward the bathroom. And like fate, or rather due to the fact that he lived there Ron was approaching him. He work a pair of pants, but he was shirtless his hair wet.

"Morning Harry," Ron greeted him.

"Hi...hiya Ron," he flustered slightly.

"You wanna go flying this afternoon?" Ron asked as he passed, "it's been a while."

"Yeah," Harry modded slightly, "yeah that would be nice." Ron gave him a thumbs up and walked past.

Maybe it didn't feel like the right day to confront this particular issue, but maybe it was time.

Harry and Ron headed out to a clearing by the burrow just as the sun was starting to set. The two walked next to each other, taking in the cool air.

"You saw Hermione the other day?" Ron asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah…" Harry hesitated, "What's going on with the two of you anyway?..." he paused, and Ron shrugged, "It's been so long since all three of us have been together, and the two of you kissed at the battle."

"Oh yeah…"he smirked, "She was saying that was all in the heat of the moment and stuff and she's not really sure what she wants, least of all a relationship and blah...blah...blah…" he chuckled.

"Ahhh...ok…" Harry said and the two of them walked for a moment in silence, "are you...into her?"

"I don't know Harry," Ron responded in ernest, "She's like a sister."

"I know how you feel about that," he agreed.

They reached the clearing, Ron straddled his broom and took off. Harry watched as he made a loop in the sky. Ron looked down at him, "C'mon up the air is wonderful!"

"Can we talk about something Ron?" Harry said, as Ron floated above him.

"What?" Ron yelled back.

He motioned for Ron to come down.

Ron landed in front of him, throwing the broom over his shoulder, "What's going on?" he asked.

"Can we... can we talk?" Harry blurted out, "I'm doing this thing where I...I do the things I've always wanted to do because my life has hasn't been the easiest….and any…" he stuttered and fell over his own words, not looking at Ron.

"Whatcha gotta say Harry?" Ron asked, trying to catch his eye.

"Do you remember that day in third year in the library, I told you about something," Harry was still avoiding his eyes, "I told you…"

"About liking boys?" Ron inquired and Harry nodded, "yes I do…"

"I...um... want to tell you that I still feel…" and before he could finish the sentence Ron's mouth made contact with his. They paused there for a second, their noses touching.

Harry pulled away, gasping, "what...what are you doing?"

"I don't know…" Ron turned away quickly, "I really don't know."

"Don't do this," Harry choked, "please I...I can't do this."

"Then let's not," Ron agreed, "I'm sorry…."

Harry swallowed hard, "I'm sorry too," he shook his head, "It's getting dark we should head back."

Ron agreed silently. They walked back to The Burron in silence and parted at the door. Mrs. Weasley's cooking filled his nose. He could feel dread in his stomach like a heavy stone as he ate. When he went to sleep that night, his mind was racing.


	3. Chapter 3

Ron and Harry had been avoiding each other like the plague, when one entered a room the other exited. When they each got a letter from none other than Minerva McGonagall inviting them personally to Hogwarts they had no choice but to be in the same room.

It was strange to Harry, crossing through the front doors of the castle once more. The last time he had seen it there was rubble on every surface. He couldn't help be feel pure nostalgia as he made his way to the great hall.

He was surprised to find that they were not the only ones invited.

Several people he only recognized vaguely from his seventh year were gathered there. Hermione, much to their surprise was also there, waving them toward her.

As they approached her, he met eyes with some he thought he might never see again. Draco Malfoy. Malfoy vaguely smirked at him as he passed but didn't say anything. He could see out of the corner of his eye, Ron looking in the complete opposite direction.

He sat down next to Hermione, Ron on the other side of her.

He leaned in towards her and whispered, "I didn't expect Draco?"

She looked just as surprised as him, "I know right?"

"I wonder what this is about?"

"No clue," Harry shrugged, as he tried to slyly as possible look over his shoulder behind him.

"Good morning," a voice rang from behind them. They all whipped around to see McGonagall standing there. She wore her signature olive green.

"I'm glad to see such a large group of people," she smiled, "and I am sure you are all wondering why you are here?"

A general consensus muttered across the room as she made her way to the front of the great hall, "As newly stated headmistress I decided to meet over the summer with the new minister of magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt and introduce a program unlike anything ever introduced in this schools history," she paused and surveyed the room, "A set of classes and an opportunity to complete NEWTs for students who were impacted by the war, including muggle borns and those otherwise affected," Harry swore she briefly look at the trio of them as she said this.

"You would not be required to stay on the castle grounds, but if you chose to do so accommodations would be made," she went on, "you would be free to leave and return for classes anytime you would like."

She looked over the room again, "Any questions?"

Hermione shot her hand up, "This is a wonderful idea…."

Harry tuned out at that point. His was racing at that point. Did he really want to relive his time as Hogwarts? It could either be a great chance or a reminder of the past.

"Harry Potter!," McGonagall's voice broke him from a trance, he snapped up and looked at her, " would you be interested?"

"I...I don't know yet professor," he confessed.

"That's fine Potter," she pursed her lips, "I will send out details by the end of this week and expect answers by September 1st via Owl."

The room broke out in a hum of small conversation, Hermione looked at Ron and then Harry, "I am doing it," she said, "you?"

Ron shrugged, "I think maybe I should, if I wanna be an Auror."

Harry nodded, Ron was right and he hadn't thought about that. But he needed time to decided still. McGonagall dismissed them, staying to field any questions any of them had.

Harry thought about talking to her, but the crowd around her was too large.

"Potter," someone said as Harry stood up. Much to Harry's surprise, Draco Malfoy stood there, his arm on his neck.

Hermione and Ron stood behind him, all three of him stared him down as he stood there.

"H...Harry…" he said hesitantly, "can we talk?"

Hermione pursed her lips and Ron seemed disinterested, "Um...yeah?"

Hermione whispered in his ear, "Tell me what he says."

Harry nodded as he said goodbye to his friends.

"Let's walk," Draco said.

"Ok," Harry agreed, unsure of why he was even doing this in the first place.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I even want to talk to you or why I am here or…" he blurted out as they walked along a deserted corridor.

"Yeah pretty much," Harry nodded.

"It's been a whirlwind of everything since you know who...died," Harry nodded along, "and my time at Hogwarts was not at all what I really wanted it to be...I...wish I could do it all again and I am so sorry for everything I did to you because it wasn't all me or what I really wanted."

"I...I definitely know where you're coming from," Harry agreed, "I'm trying to make changes in my life myself."

"What is something you would do differently?" Draco asked.

"I probably would have done so many things differently," he sighed.

"Do...do you remember the time in fourth year…"Draco started, "I was trying to...get your attention…"

"Probably not...I was so distracted that whole year to be honest," Harry muttered, "with the Triwizard tournament and all that."

"Oh yeah, totally understandable," Draco said, closing his eyes, "It's just like...that stuff wasn't on my mind after that ya know? Stuff started getting so serious and you know who came back…"

"Draco...are you gay?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Yes I am," Draco said, "and I know wizards don't talk…." but before he could finish and with every bit of courage he had Harry pressed his lips against his, embracing him. He pressed his body against his. He felt Draco's hand on his back, as he pulled him closer.

As they pulled out of the kiss Harry felt a little more conflicted, but also a little more safe and content as Draco held him there in the empty corridor. Maybe it was in fact to finish school and move on with his life he thought, maybe that's just what he needed.


End file.
